Hushed Voices!

I cannot go in chronological order. That's not how my memory works.

I was at Vaishutai's house in September, 2019. Spent 4 days at her house, just chatting. One of the conversations that I remember is Vaishutai telling me how after her first cancer diagnosis, she would go to parties and some of her acquaintances would come to her, and talk to her in a very serious voice or rather a hushed tone, and check on how she was doing. They would also continue being serious and say how sorry they were to hear about her diagnosis. Vaishutai would say, "Please don't be sorry, I am quite fine".

She hated being pitied.

As I am battling with my grief, I find myself being just like her. Really, I don't want anyone to be sorry for me. We have had so many heart-to-heart conversations, uncannily we know how each of us will react or say. The five of us, and us 3 sisters, have an unbreakable bond. How can death take that bond away? I don't think it is possible.

I can still laugh at jokes you know. Someone sends me a joke, and I think, oh how Vaishutai would have loved this one. How she once told me, "Manali, don't let Rajiv ever see your jokes". She had no idea that I would of course show Rajiv all the jokes I had shared with her. Especially the ones she was scandalized about.

Someone recommends "Family Man" to me, and I feel deep sadness that I won't be able to discuss and dissect this series with her. 

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